Category: Musings

Me and My Memories

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I often contemplate when there is silence, what would happen if I just died now. On my will, by somebody else’s hand, through a freak of nature. Whatever the reason, what will happen?

Sometimes, you can’t help it. These thoughts circle your mind. They plant a seed and it grows. You know it is wrong, life is precious. It is to be cherished and to be lived. But what if you just want an out at times?

Something always throws me off track, make life seem like a chore more than anything else. There are days I wanna go to sleep and never wake up again.

Life is hard, they’ve been saying it from eons of ages. People die, what if I was the next in line. I mean, I took a wrong decision, this way maybe I can get an option of redo, or just a blank dark slate.

Whatever the reason, whatever the musings, these thoughts come. And with them comes a sense of peace. But the peace lasts for just one minute.
The peace is followed by faces.
Faces of the people I love, the people who love me.

My father, my mother, my whole crazy extended family, my girl trio, my best friend, my person, my pig headed friends, my friend who calls me at 2 in the morning to ask if I am done with my course. I think about the teachers who believed in me. Face of that didi, that maid who watched me grow up with such pride.

I think about the memories, memories of laughing, crying, fighting. Of feeling lost, of being found. The sense of belonging, the sense of home. The feeling I had when I life kicked me in the ass, and the one when I kicked her back.

All those moments, my mother’s smile and my father’s pride.

The seed, that little seed, just dies.
But it’ll come back, and me and my memories, we’ll be ready.

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What if

What if one day I fly off the ledge
Soaring high above the sky
And never even wondering
Never questioning why

What if one day I swim in the ocean
Knee deep in the water
My movements smooth and rhythmic
My hands never falter

What if one day I dance in a theatre
My legs shake with fear
The dress billowing around my ankles
Without a single tear

What if one day I just leave it all
Listen to my heart
And play my own song

Because that one day
When my life will be my own
My feet will tap to a different tune
And all the glass walls around will be blown

Believe

Hey
Whoever you are, believe.
Believe in yourself. Know that the world will right itself. Everything will be fixed in the end. All the actions have an ulterior meaning, maybe they were meant to happen.
Learn from your experience, dont dwell on them. Let the mistakes go, move forward. Make the best of a bad situation. Never lose hope, because hope is the foundation dreams are built on.

Believe. Believe in a better tomorrow.

Love,
Somebody who knows